Monday, October 15, 2007

"Skilled.......no......just avid."


At first glance with my flip-flops, long hair and Oakley sunglasses, you wouldn't have any idea that I am an avid hunter....would you? I love to hunt....love the outdoors.....quail, dove, if it flies, and in season, I will take a shot at it. I mean, those of you that have met me would probably agree that I am not the typical guy who likes to try to stalk pigs and shoot them. I like to take baths, get my hair cut at Toni ang Guy and even like a tear-jerker movie every now and then. But I also love to kill. I typically go to Whittney's aunt and uncle's ranch in Jacksboro to see if I can run across a wild boar and take it down. I have only recently started hunting wild hogs. Whittney's family bought me a 7MM rifle (don't ask......it's big) for Christmas this past year and after watching some hog hunting clips on YouTube, I was stoked to get out there and try it. I am hooked! I have no interest in deer.....when it comes to big game....pigs are where it's at for me. Now, read the story below and you will understand why I can emphasize avid and not skilled.

This past Saturday, I went to the ranch to hunt the creatures who have eluded me at least a dozen times in the past 10 months. The ranch is beautiful. Anyone who appreciates nature would thoroughly enjoy being out there..........catfish ponds, turkeys gobbling, and lots of deer. I went by myself and got there way before the sun was up....in fact, I had to sit in my truck for a few minutes to let the sun get higher so I could begin my stalk. That was about 7:00 AM. Now, according to John (Whitt's dad) he has seen hogs at a particular spot at the ranch by the biggest lake. It is very heavily wooded....at times you can hardly walk through that area but as I approach it, I can understand why the pigs would be there. The cover is perfect for them and it's close to water. I had to jump a barbed wire fence by the spillway and as you can imagine, in all my grace, I made quit a lot of noise stumbling over it. I thought I had scared anything away within 1/4 of a mile. Due to the high water levels of the lake, the grass has grown about knee high. I began trudging through it not anticipating much since I was headed in the same direction as the wind. Anything in front of me would surely smell or hear me..........one would think......right? I was able to walk about 30 yards from the fence when I see something right in front of me stand up on 2 legs facing the same way I am. It is light enough but it caught me so off guard, I didn't know what in the hell it could be. Is it a fox, a piglet, heaven forbid if it's a skunk. Now after about 3 seconds a fat raccoon rotates on it's hind legs, hisses at me and gives me the evil eye. Everyone has seen a raccoon but this dude was big. I bet he weighed all of 25 pounds. But they have some quickness to them as well. He and I looked at each other........I debated what to do. Should I make some noise to scare him?........well that wouldn't have worked, the fence jump was noisy enough. Should I walk towards him and see if he runs..........nah..............his hiss scared me too much. He was looking at my big toe as if it were a cheap meal. Maybe I should take shot at him........but that would be the end of my hunting day because after that BOOM, nothing would stick around. But due to my panic, my fight or flight response kicked in and I took the ugliest, half-aimed hip shot you have ever seen. Due to the noise and shear violence of the gun, I had no idea for about 1 second if I shot him, missed him, or shot myself. After getting my bearings and realizing that I didn't shoot myself, I could see the grass over that fat dude's head had blown over from the force of the gun. I had missed him....shot about 1 foot over him and he hadn't moved! I honeslty think due to the noise of the rifle, he thought he had taken one in the melon. Needless to say, he turned around and walked off. He didn't jog, cantor, sprint, skip, or even walk briskly. He simply turned around and walked away like it had happened to him before. And need less to say, my hunting day was over at 8:45 AM. That is why I can say I am avid and not yet all that skilled.


Hope you enjoyed.......... peace and love........Barry

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great story buddy! Made my night at work just a little better.


Meeks

It's Whittney! said...

Love it husband!

lsprad said...

Awesome! I have tears from laughing so hard!

Anonymous said...

I can just see you and that racoon having a stand off! LOL Better watch that big toe. I've even seen Shiner look at it thinking it was a snack! Peace & Love to you too!

Jules

Anonymous said...

Fabulous...you were born in IA weren't you? Ha ha! Love ya!

Sarah